-Linnea-

yaon ako digdi ngunyan tigdara kan sakong bitis sa cafe digdi sa my barlin.
maduman kuta ako sa cathedral, kaya lang relihiyoso kaya ako na marai dae ko aram sarado palan.
kaya naisipan ko mag pa San Francisco, kala ko bukas, tanga kaya talaga ako, sarado man syempre.
mau lang. gusto ko lang kaya mag laog sa sarong simbahan.
naglaog kaya ako sa Ateneo chapel, kaya lang ugwang duwang kalag na dai ko aram kun nagaano. pero sigurado ako dai sinda nagpapamibi.
kaya sabi ko maduman man daw ako sa ibang simbahan. marai sana ta dai ako nagpa Basilica. sigurado ako sarado man gayud toh nhunyan anu?
haai..napapahibi kaya ako.
mayu man makakaintindi sako kundi siya lang man kaya sya ang gusto ko dumanan.

kaogmahan iyan kan sakong puso.

gusto ko lang mag simbag

maski dae man ako hinahapot.

maski dae man tighahagad si sakuyang opinion.

nawawara man kaya an kabanga kan sakong puso.

yaon sain?

yaon sana po sa imo.

dae ko aram kun matubod ka,

pero garu risa man anu?!

dai ko daw maisip kun tanu nag arog ako ka ini sa imo.

mau ka man kun tutuuson.

si say ka man?

mau!!!

dakulang mau!!

kaya minamawot ko na ika na mau sana,

mawara manangad sa sakuyang pagmati,

asin maging mau ka na kuta.

napapagal na man ako.

i just wanna let you know of my heroic deed.

i know its quite pride-uplifting to let someone know about your "what-about", but the hell i care!

you know what i have done?

ive done this heroic deed of letting you fall into somelese care and love, when infact i could have given you more.(even though ive got no assurance of something any in return)

but you know what?

God alone knows how much this heroic (ironically, i am not a hero, i even cant have you!i even cant twist the time or twist your feeling to be mine!) resolve cost me, and how many bitter tears i have to shed behind the fire exit door of our dormitory to surivive my private catastrophe.

and still, i have been thinking of the promises that never have been did, and for the sweet memories that i know will not or might not happen again.

i hope you know, i cant drink vodca and dance in reggae with those memories alone…

thanks!!!

ill take care of my self for you.

because i know you cant take care of me.

so ill take care of myself, of you, and of everything left about us.

this is the  loneliest thing on earth, when all you have left are the memories to cling on.

Someday you'll gonna realize
One day you'll see it through my eyes
But then i won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if i can't

I know
You don't really see my worth
You think you're the last guy on earth
Well i've got news for you
I know i'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long

Chorus

Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day i'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday

Right now
I know you can tell
I'm down,and i'm not doin' well
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry
Sweet goodbye

Chorus

Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day i'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday,
I know someone's gonne be there

Someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day i'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday

AND SO I CHOSE CAREFULLY.

  ITS JUST THAT, HE CHOSE SOMEONE ELSE.

AND SO

THIS IS ME

LEFT ALONE.

SEE?

BUT I STILL LOOK HAPPY.

JUST LOOK AT ME.

i dont know who that is you want to find somewhere.

and i also dont know who that someone you said you only have are a name and a number.

but i just wanna let you know too,

that HE knows how much i miss and long for those times that we stare at each other and just stare at each other.

those times that we share the smoke i clip by my lips.

those times that we drink until i fall on my knees.

but now, i just satisfy those longings watching you from a distance and how i wish i can still have the chance to stare at you without reasons,

share with you the smoke i clip evrynight now in my darken lips,

and i wish i can still fall on my knees and you’re there to shout at me "BURAT KA NA!".

thoughts of you cant help me bring back those times.

its you.

its easy to fight when you are winning.

its so easy to stand  up and be brave when the victory is already approching.

but for me, who cant see any victory ahead,

who didnt have the chance to win from so many battles,

who never had anyone to be there atleast,

who just fell hard on the ground,

can somebody tell me,

how would you fight if you’re like me?

i am already losing hope.

its so near.

i feel the lonely sentiments of a person who is fighting against the rest of the world.

but i still want to stand once more and take a good try.

so after this moments,

i just give my self a good cry.